Sledging

“Bowl the next over to me” says the non-striker. The bowler had just asked the striker if he saw the last ball after the striker had complained he couldn’t see him running in behind the umpire. The bowler gives the non-striker a stare as he gets his cap from the umpire. Next over starts and the non-striker is now facing. He plays and misses three balls in a row. “Isko mat out kar VSK, ye mera hai!” comes a scream. The batsman looks around to find the bowler who’d bowled the last over. Both smile. Game on.

This is not any international cricket match. Not even a first class game. It is just a bunch of 22 guys playing cricket in the fields of Arizona. Mostly students and IT professionals. Weekend cricketers. But obviously very serious about their cricket.

Two overs later the non-striker has his wish- he’s facing the bowler. First ball whizzes past him. “Dikhi?” the bowler snaps. Obviously he thinks he’s very fast. Next ball is another dot ball. The bowler applauds the batsman’s false stroke. Obviously he thinks he’s very funny. He goes back to his mark and then a few meters further. As he’s mid-way in his run- up, the batsman backs out. Obviously something has got into his eyes. The bowler goes back. Runs in the fastest he can and lets out a gut-wrenching grunt as he finishes his action. Except, he doesn’t release the ball. He finishes almost next to the batsman in his follow-through. The batsman is looking away, chuckling. The bowler now wants to bowl the fastest over he’s ever bowled. But as his run-up gets longer and longer, so does the distance between his deliveries and the stumps. Two legal and 5 illegal balls later, the batsman has changed ends. “You’re not that quick bro” he sneers. “Yes and you’re not that good. So just shut-up! I’m not talking to you” is all that the bowler can come up with. He somehow finishes his over, after conceding a single, 5 wides and 1 no-ball.

The Aussies call it ‘gamesmanship’ or ‘tactics for mental disintegration’. Shane Warne used it to his advantage like no other. But it can also work against you, as Aamir Sohail would testify. And that’s what makes sledging so exciting. Who can forget the drama that unfolded when Steve Waugh asked Curtly Ambrose to “Get the f*ck back and bowl”. No one knows what’s gonna happen when two cricketers decide to lock horns.

The game is getting to a close. 4 runs needed of the last 2 overs with 2 wickets remaining. Familiar foes resume battle but everyone knows who’s winning it right now. Can the bowler redeem himself? 4 dot balls later he feels maybe he can. The batsman is beginning to feel the pressure. 4 needed of 8 balls. Still the match is in his favor. “I’ll play the ball to merit” he says to himself as the bowler runs in. He slashes the ball, edging it but after a momentary scare, realizes it’s good enough to reach the boundary. He’s won. He’s won a game for his team single-handedly. He’s won it after challenging the opponent in his face. They shake hands. “Well played” says the bowler. “Well bowled” says the batsman.

Sure sledging can get ugly. No one wants to see bats being thrown and cricketers coming to blows. But it’s the closest it comes to war on the cricket field. It’s a war of skills- physical and mental. What’s wrong with having some of that in the middle of our mundane lives?

Sympathy for the Devil- Or how I learned to stop being just a Sachin fan and started loving the game

Have you ever known someone whose guts you hate but can't deny he is extremely enviable? That hot girl in your college who scares the shit out of any boy who tries to talk to her. That brilliant, obnoxious guy who solves Integral Calculus mentally. That cool guitarist you wanted to meet at the end of the show but couldn't coz he's an ass-hole! Kind of the same were my feelings for Shoaib Akhtar and Ricky Ponting.

Shoaib Akhtar in the '99 World Cup

Ricky Ponting in the 2003 World Cup

You see, growing up in the early 2000s, two things were certain- that you need to cram your asses to become doctors or engineers and that Sachin Tendulkar was the best batsman in the world.

These two were like an abridged version of the 10 Commandments. Questioning them was out of the question. So when Ponting challenged Sachin for the title of the 'best batsman in the world', you hated him. And when Shoaib Akhtar bowled Sachin Tendulkar for a golden duck at Eden Gardens in 1999, you fucking hated him. You fucking hated their fucking guts! Coz Sachin was God and they were the devils and the devils couldn't win!

Why this hate was so reserved for these two individuals perhaps also had to do with their personalities. Both brash, belligerent, maybe even arrogant. Shaoib's pre-World Cup 2003 comments on targeting Sachin didn't win him any fans in India. Neither did Ponting when he barked at Javagal Srinath after being hit on the helmet.

But to me, one additional reason was that they had the two talents that Indian cricketers didn't have- the ability to bowl fast and the ability to play the pull shot. Indian fans were sick and tired of being told that their players suck at these two skills. How they wished to have a bowler who could blow away batsmen with his pace or a batsman who hit the crap out of anyone who dared to bowl to his head! And it was perhaps out of this jingoistic thought that I decided to do exactly that. All of a sudden, the 12-year old me didn't wanna bowl line and length, he wanted to bowl fast, really fast! All of a sudden, all that I would shadow-practice would be the hook and the pull shots. And ironically, in doing that I started copying their manners.

I started imitating Shoaib Akhtar's long run-up and that unmistakable slingy action, so much so, that people started noticing. While I once took pride in my ability to mimic Tendulkar, I now put that aside to play like Ponting. And I loved it! I used to love it when I uprooted the stumps after a fast yorker. I even started sending off batsmen Akhtar-style! And I used to love it when I hooked fast bowlers, many much older to me. And that is when I truly fell in love with the game.

However, while they indeed changed my perspective towards cricket, my feelings didn't necessarily change for them. Only on select occasions have I been happier than when Sachin played that magical knock of 98 against Shoaib & Co in WC 2003. And boy, did I hate Ponting for smashing the Indian bowlers in the final of the same tournament!

Over the years, I have grown up from being the obsessive teenager I was. I have now watched countless videos of Shoaib's bowling and Ponting's batting. Have followed many of their interviews and tried to know more about them. And I think I have truly learned a lot from them. Afterall, I modeled my game after them! I believe they have played a major role in me becoming a 'cricket lover' from a 'Sachin fan'.

But while I was extremely sad when Shoaib and Ponting bid adieu to the game, their retirements didn't make me weep like a child. They were not the ones I thought about when I was thinking about my first car's license plate. Their videos don't have the ability to transport me right back to my childhood. Only Sachin can do that.


And this is very strange, right? Even though it may be more virtuous, but being a 'cricket lover' may not overwhelm you with emotions while being a 'fan' can. Maybe it's the personal connect. Maybe it's the sheer incapacity of the human brain that it can't love the abstract as it can a person. Maybe it is because my ego comes in the way when I look at Shoaib or Ponting but not when I see Sachin.

But while this may sound like a loss for the 'cricket lover', I think it's not. Perhaps I'll forever picture Sachin with a halo and them as the devils, but the fact that I, as a 24 year-old, still wants to bowl like Shoaib and bat like Ponting, is perhaps a bigger tribute than that 'SRT-100' license plate.